Don't take out your Brexit frustrations on our hard-working Tory councillors

Once you get going you will find that canvassing in a British high street is as enjoyable as any other contact sport – and even more exciting, in the sense that you can never be entirely sure who is going to be on your side. As you weave from shop to shop in a kind of rolling maul, you develop an instinct about the members of the public who loom into your path. Sometimes you need to deploy the old side-step; sometimes you palm them off with another member of your team. But most times you will want to commit wholeheartedly to the tackle – thrusting out your garish campaign bumf, clasping their hand, and inquiring joyfully whether you can count on their support.